200 Days

Day 200.

That's a lot of days.

Here's are reality right now:

The end is in sight, but I'm tired.

I'm exhausted.

I feel guilty for feeling so tired. I've been looking for someone to be able to help with cleaning the house, but I haven't found someone yet, but even the search process feels exhausting. The struggle is real.

This is an emotional weekend for all of us.

Today we celebrated Hudson's birthday at school after his field trip. Hudson requested banana chocolate chip muffins for his "cupcakes" for school, so I stayed up last night and baked them for his class. He was so excited. His teacher sure knows how to make the kids feel extra special on their birthdays. She has this little critter that dances and sings happy birthday to them. Then, she has each student write a letter and she makes them a birthday book and she puts a personalized banner on the whiteboard for each student.

Tonight is the Father/Daughter Dance, would have been Madison's last one as an elementary schooler. Madison has been a trooper about this and I think I'm more emotional about this one than she is. She is such a special girl and Alex surprised her today at school. He sent her the most beautiful basket of flowers and the school, bent their delivery policy to let her feel special today since Alex wasn't able to make it for the Father/Daughter Dance. She was so surprised and carried the flowers with her all over the house once we were home.

Hudson's birthday is on Sunday. I'm doing my best to help it be as special as possible because he's so excited to turn 7 years old, but no matter how much time and energy I put into the day, I'm not able to make up for the absence of Alex, Hudson's hero!

My Oil Team is at a beautiful retreat this weekend and I wasn't able to go. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful to be able to stay here with the kiddos on such a big weekend, but I also am bummed to not be with all of my friends that feel like family as they plan for the rest of the year and grow in their leadership skills.

I'm feeling like I'm at the point where I'm just going through the motions and not able to give 100% to anything because I'm just so exhausted all of the time.

I've been through this enough to know that we're at the point where there are amazing highs and crazy lows, but let me just say, for the record, I am so ready to have Alex home and our family complete. I miss my best friend like crazy and just want him here.

Okay...enough of that. Thanks for listening. I'm good. We're good. It'll all be good. Just one of those days ya know!

Anyway, here are some quick updates, since I apparently have been lacking in that department as well.

Madison is having a fantastic competition season. Her next meet is next Friday bright and early. She just has a few meets left...so crazy how fast this season has gone by.

Hudson is still playing tennis and golf and LOVING them both. I recently posted a video of him at golf. He's improving so much and really enjoying it.

Hudson has started baseball season. He's on the 8U Dodgers. He's having a blast and having to learn quickly, as his team has a good mix of newbies and veterans. Opening weekend is in March!

We bought a new car last weekend. I successfully used my Special Power of Attorney...that was a first for me. I've always had one, but never needed it, until now. We bought a 2018 Niro Plug-in Hybrid. I'm still getting use to it and learning all of the the bells and whistles it has. We traded in our Prius to help buy this car. I am excited about the 110 mpg that it gets!

I have a few surprises up my sleeve for this weekend to help Hudson feel extra special for this birthday.

I'm starting to think about what we will wear for homecoming and planning more details for our upcoming vacation once Alex is home. Sooooooooo excited.

I'm busy working and educating people on how to kick toxins to the curb and having a blast doing it.

I'm getting closer and closer to my fitness goals. The gym is my sanity right now and keeps me going.  I find that it helps me keep my stress in check (most days) and it's the part of the day I really look forward to.

So, I think that is it for updates...hopefully we'll have orders soon and then I can update with that information as well.

Alright....the floor isn't mopping itself, so I am off to go finish cleaning the house. Until next time...

It's Been A Little Bit

Day 168

So crazy that we are rounding the corner to almost 200 days apart.

Oh how we miss Alex something fierce.

I know it's been awhile since I last posted. Part of the reason is because we've actually been fortunate and have had the ability to talk often, and nighttime tends to be one of those times, when it works out, so I have already updated Alex on most things by the time I'd go write for the day. So, I started feeling like I was being redundant. However, I've received several messages asking for an update, so I thought I'd write one.

We are definitely getting closer and closer to homecoming, but we still have a few months. However, this has not stopped us from planning our homecoming vacation and getting excited about it together. We have the trip planned, but we are keeping it a surprise from the kids so, unless we cave and tell them where we are going, this will remain a secret. :)

Alex found out that he's been approved for the Navy-Marine Corps Trial Judiciary. Basically this means he's been selected to be a Judge for the Marine Corps pending the completion of the judge's course. This course is 3 weeks long. This won't have any effect on our next billet, but could potentially for the following one.

Hudson is having a blast with tennis and golf and can't wait for baseball season to start, which is quite literally just around the corner. He's excelling in his class and doing so well with his reading, writing and math. He's just the sweetest and just so fun to be around.

Madison is right in the middle of her competition season right now. I posted a video of each of her new routines for the year on my fb page. She LOVES that she has her own routines this year. She has been quite successful so far this year and is looking forward to the rest of the meets.

I have been working extremely hard on my fitness and health goals at my gym with my amazing friends and trainers. They are all helping me to work hard and stay focused to reach my goals. For those of you that are local, I have some special passes I'm allowed to give out fora  FREE VIP TWO WEEK pass if you'd like one. I've seen some wonderful gains (including some fun losses). My team came in second for the holiday challenge, meaning we won a fun spa package to a local spa here in town. I can't wait to book my appointment.

I have also been working hard on growing my business and educating others on how to live above the wellness line and how to kick those yucky toxins to the curb in all areas of  their home. We also have a fun new launch happening come February 1st that is just soooooo exciting and will be so fun for Valentine's Day!!!!

Both of the kids have had some fun field trips and they each have a couple more coming up next month, in addition to the 100th day of school.

So basically this is the update for now and I will post more as we approach some more other big milestones coming up. I will work on being more consistent with these blog posts.....

O Christmas Tree

Day 117.

It's Saturday and boy did it seem to fly by!

We started the morning off with Hudson's golf lesson. He did really well today. My parents met us there and then after the lesson we dropped a car off at the house and went to go pick out our Christmas Tree. Yes, we still get a LIVE tree every year. I always get razzed for that, but this is one of my favorite traditions. We decided to go to a cute little family owned tree farm this year instead of just going to Lowe's or Home Depot because I had stopped by the farm and they had some beautiful trees and they looked so fresh. I knew they were going to be a bit pricier, but I just decided to go with it this year. Well, God showed up in that detail too....the 7-8 foot trees at Lowe's were $70 this year and the same size tree at this lot were between $110-$150. We didn't find "the tree" right away, so we asked if they had any more Nobel Firs (I'm a stickler for it needing to be a beautiful Nobel Fir) that were the size we were looking for. The guy saw that Alex was on FaceTime with us (thank you technology...yes, Alex was able to help us pick out our tree all the way from Kuwait), and when he came back he told us his brother was deployed and that the tree he found was 8 feet tall and that the price was $69.99. You guys....this tree fits perfectly in our home and it's perfect. There is one silly little branch that sticks out, but Madison was so excited to be able to hang her TinkerBell ornament on it because usually it's hard to find a brach that has enough space under it for this particular ornament. The guys at the farm tied the tree up on the roof and then we brought it home. I was very thankful that my parents were able to come and help with the tree, especially getting it inside the house and into the stand.

Once the tree was standing, we all went to have lunch at The Habit. Then my parents left to head to the Post Office, to mail Alex a care package and the kids and I went home to finish decorating the house as well as the tree. While we decorated the tree, we had our Christmas music blaring and laughter was abounding....I missed Alex terribly (especially as I pulled out the ornaments he usually helps adorn our tree with), but the delight in the eyes of my children brought me so much comfort and made me thankful that we were even able to have had Alex on FaceTime earlier as we picked out our tree.

We had a blast today and the kids finished decorating their personal trees too. They each have an artificial 3 foot tree in their room and they get to fill it with their homemade ornaments and a few others, that I share with them. ;) 

Tonight for movie night we watched Elf and the kids just kept saying how much they love our tree and how pretty it is and how amazing it smells. Before they went to bed, I snapped a quick picture of them in front of the tree. You can just see how much they love Christmas in this picture.

After the kids went to bed, I wrapped some presents and watched Christmas with the Kranks. Then I updated their Christmas lists a little more because I realized I needed to find a couple more items. 

Now, I'm sitting here at the computer with the only lights on the glow of our Christmas lights from the tree and the many different strands of garland all over the house. The Christmas music is playing, as I reflect on the fact that tomorrow starts the beginning of Advent. As soon as I finish up here, I am going to be reading and prepping for our first day of our family advent study. Alex and I are so excited to be doing this and I am super excited that we are going to do our best to do it in the mornings before school if Alex is able to be free. 

I pray that this Christmas season, whether you are entering it during a time of sorrow, a time of celebration, a time of loneliness, or another situation entirely, that you feel the love of our Father and are filled with the Joy that comes from knowing that the whole reason we celebrate this time of year is because our Savior was born. Because of this we can walk confidently and need to fear what is to come, for He is with us now and always. 

Where Are You Christmas?!?

Day 116.

It's Friday....


I'm back.


Sorry I had a couple weeks there that literally knocked me to the ground. Please don't mistake my lack of posting for not wanting to share and be real, I was just processing and dealing with a lot and trying to navigate through some things. Most of you know that I wear my heart on my sleeve, and because of this I just felt for the sake of everyone, it was better if I kept my journaling in my actual journal where I cried out to God and He walked me through those two weeks, along with a few friends that came alongside and made sure I was still alive.

Anyway, all is well and we ARE IN DECEMBER!!!!! Another month gone and I am another month closer to having my man back in my arms.

So tonight, Madison's sweet friend Mackenzie sang one of my favorite sentimental Christmas songs tonight at a special performance. We didn't end up being able to go because my kids were wiped out...Madison even asked to leave gymnastics early....that never happens. They were both in bed by 6:30 and Madison was asleep by 6:45/7:00.....and Hudson was not far behind her.

Anyway, listening to a recording of Mackenzie singing this song, not only brought tears to my eyes because she did a beautiful rendition of the song, but the words to the song struck a chord tonight.

Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too

Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go

Christmas is here
Everywhere, oh
Christmas is here
If you care, oh

If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time

Oh, I feel you Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away, oh
The joy of Christmas
Stays here inside us
Fills each and every heart with love

Where are you Christmas
Fill your heart with love

I can totally relate to the words of this song during the season I'm in right now. I LOVE Christmas. It's quite literally my favorite time of year. But, this year, with Alex being away, it's been harder to find the motivation to decorate the house. However, I have done a decent amount and will finish this weekend, especially after we get our tree, because Christmas is about JOY and the birth of our Savior who is so patiently walking beside me on this journey as I try to navigate all the feels that come with not having my love home with me right now. I want the kids to have a MAGICAL Christmas and to know the LOVE of Christ and that no matter what our circumstances, that love never changes. I LOVE that we have family traditions and while it will be hard without Alex here, I still have every intention of keep the traditions alive. The JOY of Christmas lives inside each and every one of us and we simply need to dig deeper if we are struggling to find it this year. We are surrounded by amazing people that love on us and pray for us. We also have friends who regularly text, email or message daily just to see how the day is going. These thoughtful gestures mean the world to me. Some days it's really easy to get swallowed up by emotion, but then I'll be reminded that God has us and He sends sweet little reminders in so many ways, all throughout the day. 

I'm excited for this weekend. We have some fun in store for the days to come. Hope everyone has a LOVELY weekend too!

It's Been A Tad Chaotic

Day 98, 99, 100, & 101.

Phew. Looks like I've missed some days.

I have received several loving messages from people asking if I was okay, since I hadn't posted my blog posts in a little bit.

Yes. I am doing well. Thank you so much for your thoughtful messages and texts.

Last weekend rocked me emotionally from so many different levels, that on Monday I was just so stinking tired that as soon as the kids crawled in bed after gym, I did too! I can't remember the last time I went to bed before 9:00, although I'm about to go to bed soon again.

This week in general has just been filled with a lot of things that have kept me busy.

However, I did mean to post yesterday because we reached another milestone:

Day100!!!

We are feeling the length of time and missing Alex oh so much, but thankful that we have that milestone behind us. We are taking one day at a time and looking towards the light at the end of the tunnel, even if it still seems pretty far away.

We've had fun making care packages for Alex and sending them. We sent a Christmas themed one this week, as well as a coffee themed one. Alex is feeling the fell effect of the 100 days too, so we wanted to send him some extra boxes of love. :)

After Thanksgiving, I will be back to my consistent posting, but until them I am in full prep mode for our Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales AND we are going out of town for the first time and Science Fair is due almost as soon as we get back, but we're still gathering data. So, there is a bit of stress and chaos going on over here that will all come to a close once December hits, however I will say I am very much looking forward to several days with my bfry and I know the kids are looking forward to it too....they've been counting down the days since November 1st....well actually probably longer than that!

Sleep well everyone! Enjoy your weekend!

***Just a fun side note...today during volunteering, I had the privilege of seeing Hudson's super excited because they baked homemade pumpkin pies in his class today, that teased our noses as they baked in the oven. Then, in Madison's class I had so much fun helping the kids transfer corn they sprouted and grew on the cob, into their garden plot at school, as well as putting together their class Science Fair Board.

After...

Day 97.

Today we accomplished a lot.

After church, the kids and I ran some errands and finished with Costco. Kids always love going there with me.....samples on the weekends are always in surplus.

After we made it back home, we had lunch and then we were able to talk with Alex for a bit. Always the highlight of my day.

After that, the kids each had a little bit of homework to do. Madison had a math test to study for and we are in full Science Fair mode right now. Last weekend, Madison did all of the work to get ready for the start of the experiment, so today we began the experiment to test her hypothesis. We will be conducting the experiment for 10 days and then she will draw her conclusion.

After she finished setting up the petri dishes and getting all of the swab samples. We placed the petri dishes in a box and then placed that box in my bathtub with a towel over it.

After this was completed, Madison eagerly gave Hudson his practice spelling test, which she was delighted to do.

After they were both finished with their homework I made dinner and then we snuggled up together and watch Akeela and the Bee. I will say that I was thoroughly impressed with this movie. It was fantastic, as I'd heard it would be. However, momma's there are a few choice words in this movie that I was not expecting. One of them went right over both kids heads because they'd never heard it before, the other one went over Hudson's head, but Madison caught it and just looked at me with a shocked face. She'd read it in a couple of books before, but it always is shocking when it's in a movie. That aside, it was such a motivational movie and truly inspiring.

After the movie, the kids talked to their Oma and Papa for a little bit and then it was time for bed.

After the kids went to bed, I spent some time in front of our "fire place"...aka fireplace app on our TV...it's still too hot for a fire, with Christmas music on and I journaled for a bit. I really love journaling my thoughts and prayers to God. Not only is it so refreshing, but I love being able to go back and mark when prayers have been answered, whether they are a yes or a no.

After journaling, I talked with my friend Kara, who was kind enough to check in on me today and we caught up with each other about our weekends in more depth than we'd been able to on Friday or Saturday. While talking to Kara, Alex called and I was able to talk to him for a little bit and now I am getting ready to go to bed with a big smile on my face because my man is seriously the best and always puts a smile on my face.

Love and miss you babe!

PS....anyone else super annoyed with the new iPhone update that doesn't allow you to write and "I"? Hoping the update to fix this comes out soon!

The Heart of a Marine Corps Spouse

Days 95 & 96.

Yesterday was the USMC's birthday. Today is Veteran's Day.

This weekend has filled my heart with many emotions.

To my knight in shining armor,

You have my heart. You are in my daily prayers. You are in my every thought.

On days like yesterday and today, I am reminded just how filled I am with admiration for the job that you do willingly and so sacrificially. You have such a servant's heart. I am so incredibly proud of you and have loved every single second of being your wife and I look forward to all that is yet to come.

I miss you terribly and the emotions in my heart have been high these last couple of days as I see all of the social media posts, but our God is good. He's calmed my heart and reminded me we each have a job to do. It's always hard being away from you, whether it's for one day or for 270 days, each day I yearn for you. I long to be in your presence.

But while this time could be seen as dark and unbearable, God is faithful and is doing a good work in each of us and in our marriage. He is growing us and teaching us. I can feel God working in my heart and He's teaching me about grace and forgiveness, even though I still have a lot to learn. He's speaking to me through each of my devotions, my friends, my small group I'm in online, and through the messages at church. I can see how God is using you as well my love. You are being open and real with the guys you're deployed with and the way God has orchestrated you to lead a small group leaves me in awe. I love you. I love your heart. I love the journey God has had you on and seeing where you've come from and where He's taking you.

I miss not being able to go to the Birthday Ball with you and I miss not having you here in my arms to hug personally and to tell you how very proud I am of you, my sweet Veteran. But, I choose to find the joy in this situation and to see the good that God is doing in each of us and in our beautiful children that He's blessed us with. We will be stronger as a result of this deployment.

Our kids are so very proud of you. As Hudson joined his first grade class last week in honoring the men and women of the military and our great country, I could see the pride in his face knowing his dad was in the slide show of veterans. When Madison read the Veterans Day tribute over the loud speaker on Thursday morning, she was nervous, but because she is so stinking proud of you, she was able to make it through.

So my love, Happy Birthday and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your sacrifice. I know that it's not easy and I know that you'd much rather be here with us, but you've been called to do a very important job and we are here praying for you and are so very proud of you.

With all my love,

Your adoring wife
xoxoxo