Waiting.....

I'm sitting here on a Saturday afternoon trying to figure out why God keeps things from us, especially when it something our heart deeply desires. I know that God knows what's best for us and that He has specific timing, but sometimes it's hard to wait, especially when you've been asking for something since you were little. I don't really want to get into the details just yet, but I simply felt like writing.

How does one sit back and just wait? I've been trying to do so, but no matter how much I say I'm being patient, or how much I put my trust in God....I still desperately want something that has not yet been given to me. It's hard to put that out of my mind. I have been on my knees with my hands to the sky, but yet nothing has happened.

I'm beginning to wonder if the waiting will ever end. I have always believed that God wouldn't withhold the desires one of His children had in their hearts. Do I keep holding on to this desire or do I give up? If I give up, when do I give up? I really enjoy the thought of my desire, but it's getting so hard to just sit back and wait. Not because I don't want to, but because I'm surrounded by several people who already have been able to start on their dreams, while I'm stuck just watching them and hoping my dream will start soon.

Withdrawals

I am having such a hard time this year not being in the classroom. I didn't realize how hard it would be not to be teaching. It's the first time in seven years that my life hasn't revolved around a classroom in some fashion. It's very weird having nothing to do during the day and trying to find things to fill my day.

Some days I don't have any trouble keeping myself busy and other days it seems like the day just drags on by. I am trying extra hard to grow more as a wife after God's own heart. I mean I have the time to cook, to clean, and to do the laundry as well as purposefully doing things that mean a lot to my husband. Real quick, let me just back up for those of you that don't know why I'm not teaching this year. My husband and I are moving to Virginia because he is going on active duty for the Marine Corps and has some more training to finish out in Quantico. Therefore, I resigned from teaching in my district because I didn't think it would be right to start the year, knowing that I'd be leaving two months into it.

I didn't realize how much teaching was apart of my soul. I LOVE children and helping them to love themselves. Not being around children and able to influence them in this way is hard. I have several friends that have children that I get to see on a regular basis, but it's not the same. I am not ever one on one with them or in a place where I can just devote myself to them in that capacity.

For those of you that don't teach, this probably seems like a silly thing, but I feel like a piece of me is missing and I don't know how to find it or to fill the void. Anyway, don't really know where I'm going with this from here...but that's what's on my heart right now. I'm always looking for good books or good studies, especially since I have so much extra time now, so if anyone has suggestions, please feel free to leave them. :)

One Book Tag

I was on a blog that I like to read and found this Book Tag. I loved reading it, so I thought I'd join and do one myself.

One book that changed your life:
I'd have to say the Bible is the number one book that has changed my life, but after that it would be Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis and the Sacred Romance by John Eldredge. These two books helped to formulate my desire to go deeper in the Christian faith and to not just take things for face value. Lastly, I'd have to say Lady in Waiting by Debbie Jones and Jackie Kendall. This book changed how I viewed dating relationships and was what I followed when I met my husband. Amazing book. I think all high school and college girls should read it.

One book you've read more than once:
I have actually read the above books all more than once. Specifically for this question though, I'll mention that I read The Story We Find Ourselves In by Brian McLaren more than once. I studied it with a community group I use to be apart of. We had some great discussions about it.

One book you'd want on a desert island:
I think that I'd want to take the Bible. It would give me stories to read, thoughts to ponder, and the ability to keep growing closer to God.

One book that made you laugh:
It's a book called Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. This book is a clever way to show the importance of punctuation. Here's a sample so you can see some of the humor contained within:

"A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
--back cover of the book

One book that made you cry:
I'm a romance novel sap, but specifically a Nicholas Sparks romance sap. I'd have to say a book that made me cry was At First Sight, the sequel to True Believer. Great book. Great story.

One book that you wish had been written:
From a teachers perspective, I wish a effective book had been written about guiding parents through helping their children at home with the concepts they learn at school. Children would thrive so much more if they had reinforcement at home for what they learned that day at school.

One book that you wish had never been written:
I haven't read a book in awhile that I felt this way about, but I remember in high school absolutely hating the book Sarah, Plain, and Tall. I thought it was the most boring book ever and could never understand why it won any awards.

One book you're currently reading:
I am currently reading A Wife After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George (my second time around reading this one).This book really puts into perspective how to live out the life of a wife according to how God calls us to live. This is a book that I will probably pull out every couple of years because it is so practical and such a great reminder.

One book you've been meaning to read:
I've been meaning to read Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. I have it. I've started it. Haven't picked it up in awhile. What I've read so far is great, just for some reason haven't gotten around to finishing it.

Now tag five people:
If you read this list, then consider yourself tagged. I am not going to go on naming folks on my blog who probably won't do this anyway. I enjoyed it though, and am glad that Michael sent me the email and told me I should do it.