"Mr. Grumpy Gills"

Day 53.

Today was interesting.

Today, I'd say I definitely had a rollercoaster of emotions.

Today, didn't really go how I'd planned.

I'm thankful that today is coming to an end and that tomorrow will be a fresh day.

Today, started out like any other school day. I got the kids off to school and they were both ready for their Friday spelling tests and excited to spend the day with their friends and classmates.

Once I was home, I went for a fast paced walk around a 2 mile loop in my neighborhood. I walked the loop twice. During this walk I worked and then the for last half I was able to catch up with a sweet friend that has proven faithful over the years. She always takes time out of her week to set up a phone date with me. She's even talked about possibly coming out to visit while Alex is on his deployment. She's one of a kind and I'm so thankful she didn't write us off because we are a military family that only lived near her family for 10 months and by the time we actually met we probably only knew each other 8 months. Anyway, it's always nice catching up with her.

After I was back home, I did my weekly cleaning of the house and then headed off to go turn in our rent check and request that our fireplace be serviced before that season comes because with our luck in this house, I wasn't willing to turn the fireplace on, not knowing the last time it was on.

Once I was back home, I was able to briefly talk with Alex. He's had some crazy days lately, so communication has been unpredictable at best.

After I was off the phone with Alex, our bug guy same. He's the best. He really is so amazing at his job and he's incredibly kind. Anyway, I had called him earlier because I unfortunately found rat dropping in our garage and asked him what I should do. He popped over and inspected and noticed right away that the house isn't properly sealed. He was kind enough to set traps for me until the management company can get their guys out to take care of the issue.

I think this is when it started....the rollercoaster of the day. It was yet another thing that I'm having to deal with at this house and I'm just sort of tired of it. So, then I got a bit grouchy, not on purpose...it just happened and I had trouble shaking it.

I tried eating lunch....nothing.

I tried reading....nothing.

I tried focusing more on work....nothing.

I tried watching a little Gilmore Girls...nothing.

I just had a bad case of "Mr. Grumpy Gills." Then it was time for me to get the kids and I tried to fake it and then I'd get even more frustrated with myself because sometimes silly and a non-issue (you know one of those things that seems like an issue, but when you stop and think about it is really a non-issue) would cause me to be short with the kids and then I'd feel badly and apologize, but then two seconds later the cycle started over. Then, the kicker, so I take Madison to gymnastics and while Hudson and I were in the car I said, "Bubba, I'm sorry that I've been grumpy." His response...complete grace, "Mom, it's okay. I love you and you're perfect." While this was just the sweetest thing he could have said (albeit so far from the truth), in that moment then utter and complete guilt washed over me because I know I can do better.

Today was a day that was hard to not have my other half here to just hug and be held in his arms. I know tomorrow will be better and I know we'll be just fine because God is faithful and He's always there.

However, today really made me wish that a virtual hug was truly possible to feel. I love you babe and miss you more than ever!